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.”“Let’s discuss.” I sigh heavily and blow my nose.“Even if something terrible has happened, what difference do you think you can make?” George asks.“I don’t know,” I say feeling angry at that question.“Rob’s my best friend.He’s helped me out and been there for me when I’ve been sad, lonely or just a bit down, he’s always been there,” I stare out the window.“I just want to know he’s ok, and if he’s not, I want to be there for him.Is that such a crime?” I blurt.“No, but getting yourself into a frenzy about it is.Coral you have to start to learn to let go of control, you want to know what’s going on so you feel you have some sort of control over the situation because you hate feeling in the dark.But it is inevitable that whatever it is, good or bad you have no control over it, the only thing you can do is be there for Rob if it’s bad news.You can’t take it away from him, you can’t make everyone around you happy and have them be in your life without any problems, life is not like that.” I clench my hands into fists in exasperation.I know George is right, but how the hell do I stop worrying about it?“So you’re saying, just continue with my life as if nothing’s going on, and not think about Rob at all, pretend like I don’t give a fuck about him, or what he’s going through? No! I can't do that!” I bellow shaking my head.“No that’s not what I’m saying at all.” George swaps his legs over.“Whatever he is going through right now is.No, let me try it this way.Do you think worrying about whatever it is, is going to make any difference to the outcome?” Whoa hadn’t looked at it like that!“I.I guess not, no,” I answer sheepishly.“Good because it won’t.What I am trying to suggest is to try and continue with your life as you normally would and then deal with whatever it is when he comes back.”“But if it’s bad, I’ll feel guilty for having a good time while he’s been having a bad time.”George shakes his head in frustration.“Coral, don’t you understand? It is obviously something he wanted to go through with Carlos, if there is anything.If he wanted to tell you he would have, and I very much doubt he’s going to be angry with you for continuing with your life whilst he’s been away, goodness me Coral!”“Ok, ok I get it,” I scowl.“Thank goodness,” George blurts falling back into his chair as though he’s passed out.It’s a little over exaggerated, but funny.“So,” he says lifting his head.“Have anything nice planned for the weekend?” I squirm in my seat.“Out with it!” George says.“I.well, it’s private,” I whisper feeling embarrassed.“Coral, how many times do I have to tell you? You are in therapy, nothing is private!”“Fine,” I hiss.“I’m going to sleep with Tristan tonight.” Holy hell, this is beyond uncomfortable.I look up at the ceiling so I don’t have to look at George.“How are you feeling about having sex again?”“Fine,” I answer keeping my eyes up.“Coral!” I finally look at George.“What?” George cocks one eyebrow up at me.“You are not fine.So come on,” he prompts.I sigh inwardly.“I…I thought it would.I thought I wouldn’t ever want to again, but Tristan’s.” I swallow hard.“Tristan makes me feel safe.And it’s like you said, prolonging it can sometimes make the action of doing it again even worse, it gets exasperated in your mind.I’m in love with him George, so sex is just the next, most natural step, right?”“Yes it is.So why do you look so worried?”“Ok, ok, so I’m a little apprehensive that I think I’ll be ok then I’ll freak out, then he’ll think I’m crazy.” I drift off.“I very much doubt that.And my advice to you would be if you do ‘freak out’ to tell him the truth.” I blow out my cheeks.“That’s pretty heavy stuff to tell someone you hardly know,” I say.“Do you trust him?” I think about that one and I think I do.“Yes, I think so,” I whisper.“Then tell him, he won’t go anywhere.” I nod silently, I’m going for not freaking out.But if I do, I’ll deal with it at the time.“So that’s a wrap?” George asks.“Yes.” I take my mobile out and call a taxi.“Thanks for seeing me tonight.Can we keep the extra sessions going?”“Yes, of course.” We both stand.I give George a big hug, he chuckles at me.“It’s good to see you so happy Coral,” he says.”Joyce said that too.Was I walking around looking miserable all the time or something?”“No, not really.You just didn’t smile much, that’s all.”“Oh! I see.” I walk with George to the front door and pick up the bedding and my bags.“Coral, let me help you,” he says
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