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. I would never want my daughters to make the kind of sacrifices you re talking about, Jaci.Andif your mother loves you, which I m sure she does, I don t think she wants that for you either. Ha! She didn t know my mother.She d learned a long time ago that a healthy dose of guilt wasthe best way to manipulate me. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Since we d already talked about some of the most intimate details of my life, I couldn t imaginewhat might be off-limits. Sure. How do you feel about Nex? I felt a little breathless as I forced out a laugh. Wow.You don t hold back, do you? She grinned. No, I don t.But of course you can tell me to mind my own business. Nex is amazing, I said without hesitation. I ve never met anyone quite like him. What do you mean? I shrugged before reaching for my now-cold espresso. I guess I m not used to people doing nicethings for me without expecting something in return.And Nex has.He s been so generous and& Myvoice trailed off when I realized I was gushing about the man. That s our Nex.I have to admit, I ve never seen him like this with a woman before though.I always hoped that day would come and that I d be here to see it, but I wasn t sure. At my questioninglook, she said, Don t get me wrong, I like to think I ll be around to see them all have babies of theirown.They re all like my own sons.But when my husband passed suddenly, I realized there are noguarantees in life, Jaci. I m sorry, I said softly. About your husband. Thank you.But if I learned one thing from that experience, it was never to take a single day forgranted.That s why when Mac proposed the idea of opening this bakery together, I dipped into ourretirement savings, the money we d planned to use to travel, and said, Let s do it. She smiled. Because I knew I wasn t going to get very many more opportunities to realize a dream.You maythink those chances come around a lot, but take it from someone who s lived a long time, they don t.That s why you have to seize them when they do. I understand. Do you? She looked at me intently for a minute. Honey, your mama had a chance to live herlife as she saw fit.She still has choices.This disease doesn t have to define her unless she lets it.There are lots of people still living very productive lives with it, determined not to let it get the bestof them.Your mother has that same choice. I wondered if my mother still saw it that way.She d treated it like a death sentence, believingher body had betrayed her in the worst possible way. I know you re right, Mary. She leaned in, brushing the backs of her knuckles over my cheek. I m sure you re a gooddaughter and a good person, Jaci.You don t have to prove that to anyone. Thank you. With those few simple words, Mary had made me feel a kind of peace I hadn t in along, long time.Since before my mother s diagnosis. You have the right to be happy, to decide for yourself what makes you happy. She stood,wrapping an arm around my shoulders and squeezing as the scent of lavender enveloped me. Don tlet anyone take that away from you, honey. Chapter SixteenNexI could tell Jaci was preoccupied as I watched her make dinner.She hadn t said anything about hermeeting with Mac, but I knew the decision was weighing heavily on her. You want to talk about it? I asked finally, walking up behind her.I kissed her neck as I watched her baste the roast beef with carrots and baby potatoes she dprepared for dinner.She said she felt like comfort food when she asked if I had any preferences fordinner, so I told her whatever she wanted to make was fine with me. Did you know about Mac s offer? Since I d promised myself I would never lie to her, I said, Yeah, I knew. Did you have anything to do with it? I could tell by her clipped tone she thought I did.It was a logical assumption.It probablyseemed to her the offer came out of nowhere, my last-ditch effort to get her to stay, and I was using mysister-in-law to do it.I moved around to lean my back against the counter, giving me a better view of her face. Youthink I d try to manipulate you that way? She grimaced. I don t know what the hell to think, Nex. She rubbed her forehead. None ofthis makes any sense.Mac barely knows me.She s tasted one thing I ve prepared.I told her I have nobusiness experience.I m not a formally trained pastry chef or anything, just a novice who likes toexperiment.Why wouldn t she want someone& better? I frowned at her choice of words, and suddenly I got the feeling we weren t just talking aboutMac anymore. Headache? I asked.I could tell by her frown I hadn t responded the way she dexpected me to.I was mad as hell, but I was trying to temper my response. A little. I reached for some pain reliever in the cabinet behind me, plopping them down on the counterbefore reaching into the fridge for a bottled water.After twisting the cap off, I handed it to her. Takethis, I hate to think of you in pain. Thanks, she said, staring at the plastic bottle in my hand, her face expressionless.I waited until she d taken two of the little white pills before I said, So you don t think you regood enough for Mac& or me? Her head snapped up, her eyes colliding with mine. Jesus, Jaci. I leaned back against the counter again, crossing my arms.It would be easy toease her mind with passionate kisses, maybe a tryst in the bedroom, but for the first time in my life, Ididn t want to use sex to solve the problem.I wanted something deeper, more meaningful with her, and that meant facing our challenges head-on.I could hear my brothers mocking me now, telling me how very evolved of me. Don t you know every goddamn day I m the one questioning whether I m good enough foryou? When she continued to baste the damn meat, I led her away from the stove, needing to know Ihad her undivided attention for this conversation. Talk to me.Tell me what your concerns are. You ve just got it all figured out, and I, well& She took a deep breath. I don t.I thought Idid, but I feel like a conflicted mess most of the time these days. I chuckled, drawing a frown from her. I ve got it all figured out? I clutched my chest. You vegot it all wrong, baby.Ryker, he s got it all figured out.Not me.He s doing what he loves, making aboatload of money, got two great kids, and the woman he loves is wearing his ring.In my mind, itdoesn t get any better than that. I could tell I d surprised her.Hell, I d surprised myself.I d nevercoveted Ryker s lifestyle until I met Jaci. Just look around you. She bit her lip, her eyes swimming with tears. You ve got the beautifulhome, fancy cars, degree, great job, supportive family.You know what you want. You re right, I do now.I couldn t have said that six short months ago. What do you mean? she asked, staring at my chest instead of my face. I think you know what I mean.I want you, Jac.I may have all this, I said, inclining my head. But this is all just stuff.It could be gone tomorrow.A goddamn fire could sweep through here andburn it to the ground. I hear what you re saying
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