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.Target – the woman you are interested in, usually part of a set.When approaching a group, if you direct most of your attention to the target she will sense your interest early and become self conscious, putting up a barrier.Additionally, it is rude to ignore her friends.The solution is to give the other women an equal amount of attention (or even a little more) to win over her friends to show you are a good guy.Later in the interaction you can direct more of your time to the target.Having a wing is ideal in this situation because he can then keep the friends occupied while you build rapport with the woman you are interested in.Push-pull – if you are in a conversation with a woman and she begins to show interest, theoretically you can increase the attraction if you aren’t completely enamored by her.In other words, you can smile and praise her (e.g., “I like that you travel, it means you are aware of what’s going on in the world”), then turn away for a moment and say a word or two to your friend.Then go back to the woman with further conversation.This can also be physical (if she hints that she is comfortable with touching).Reach down and give her wrist a light underhand squeeze, while your shoulders are facing her, then turn your body outward so your shoulders are perpendicular to her body while you take a sip of your drink and look at the rest of the bar.Then after a moment return your focus to the woman.This is advanced technique, and it assumes you are comfortable with approaches and conversation.So What Works?Now that we’ve had a brief overview of Pick Up Artists, what direction should you go? You could spend a ton of money, buying products from each of them, employ their various methods, and try to pinpoint what works best.I’m not necessarily knocking that angle, but it can get expensive and overwhelming.Having been aware of the PUA community for several years, I have noticed some interesting trends.Pick-up is part behavioral science and part art, and like any group or movement it evolves as techniques come in and out of favor.Some of the original players stick to their tried and true methods, others change as they see new trends emerge, and some rival groups even partner up for a time to market special packages, then split off again to do their own thing.The latest trends have some PUAs moving away from the Negs and magic tricks, while putting more emphasis on natural conversation skills – a welcome change.Some of the old guard continues to tout the same methods they have always offered, but most regularly update their material with new formulas designed to keep themselves on the cutting edge of the art form.Some people are uncomfortable with the concept of Pickup Artists, believing that any man who studies such material is only looking for one night stands.For some men this may be true, but other practitioners have honorable motives, simply looking for assistance in their quest to find a fulfilling relationship.Many women have no idea of how difficult it is for a reserved man to approach her and ask her out.If studying attraction material teaches those men who struggle how to gain confidence in their interactions with women, it is a viable, legitimate route to follow.I believe doing your best to be a well-rounded individual, developing new hobbies and interests, working on your social skills through interactions with people (e.g., taking classes, and the opportunity to engage in conversation whenever possible), and developing a confident, care-free attitude (removing limiting thoughts and behaviors) are the necessary first steps.This will help you develop a rock-solid foundation on which you can continue to build and refine your persona.Once you have made those changes in your life, you will possess the four qualities that women find most attractive in a person:• Easy going confidence• Intrigue• Style• HumorThose are the four magic attributes you need to attract women.In fact, if you are outstandingly good at any two of the above that may be enough! However, if it were as easy as understanding those words none of us would need help in getting a date.Repeating the exercises in this book will allow you to get there.You may also benefit from studying PUA material.Just be selective and don’t go crazy with your credit card.Putting Theories into PracticeThe rest of this book deals with the actual practice of making approaches, along with tips on dealing with mental roadblocks and approach anxiety.But first here is a relevant example on self-help and taking initiative.A few years ago while between jobs I attended a seminar on a subject that piqued my interest.An author was promoting his book on freelance business writing, the topic being “how to make a full time living writing for large and small businesses in six months or less.”The gist of the seminar was, if you were a reasonably good writer and had some people skills, you could tap the corporate world’s demand for good copywriting, be it for advertisements, brochures, annual reports, etc.The author was very convincing, making a sound case for something that seemed right up my alley.After the seminar I purchased his how-to book and, using the suggestions within its pages, resolved to call local advertising firms, graphic design houses, and web masters to see if they could use a freelance writer.Since the presenter was very sincere and effective in getting his ideas across, I figured many of the other sixty-odd people at the seminar would also be calling the same firms.Over the next six weeks, using the Yellow Pages I made it my full-time job to call every one of those business categories in the city, and then some.I made an average of 50 calls per day, and at the end of several weeks had made over 1100 phone calls, some of which led to paid assignments.Let’s be clear – despite still being a very reserved person, I was cold calling, phoning up businesses, large and small, and asking to speak with the proprietor, marketing manager, or whomever else would be in charge of farming out writing assignments.None of these people had ever heard of me; I was just some guy offering a service.This is what it sometimes takes to succeed in the business world, to get out and do something outside of your comfort zone.Most people are reluctant to cold call because they think the person is too busy to hear your sales pitch or already has someone doing the job.You might think most of them would give me a quick “thanks but no thanks” and then hang up.But for over half of the people I spoke with that wasn’t the case.Most of those I called were very receptive to using a freelance writer, or at least keeping the name of a writer on file should the need arise
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