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.Only a few coins rested on the bottom of theguitar case. 126 GET IT! STREET-SMART NEGOTIATION AT WORKDuring the next few years I would see members of the group dancing,mostly jumping straight up and down, on my frequent visits to Chicago.Then they disappeared, and I wondered why.After I first became aware ofthem, I noticed stories about them in the press.They were, I read, buildingcenters, building communities, and sponsoring all manner of projects.They had hundreds of affiliates (if that s the right word) all over the coun-try.Where were they getting the money for all this? Not dressed in orangerobes and bobbing in front of Walgreens.And where had they gone?Reacting to cool customer response, they changed their fund-raisingtactics.They carried little cases and they met you at the airport.Theylooked more like you and me, although not completely. Welcome to Chicago.Please accept this flower as a symbol of hospitality. I didn t want a flower, but they backed up as I walked and kept hold-ing it in front of me.Finally, so I could go on my way unimpeded, I tookthe flower.But the solicitor stayed with me, step for step. Sir, there is usually a donation for the flower. Well, I don t really need a flower, so, here, take it back and welcomesomeone else. No, it is yours to keep with or without a donation, but we would wel-come a donation no matter the size. What s the usual size? A dollar. A dollar, I think, is a fairly inexpensive way to extricate myself fromthis situation, which, stripped to its bare reality, amounts to extortion.Ihand over the dollar, take the flower, and then,slightly embarrassed, drop it in the next trash con-LESSON FROM THE STREET #51tainer.As I leave the airport, I see my benefactor sEven a negative connectionshort-haired confederate picking flowers from thecan build rapport if thetrash container outside the airport s pneumaticconnection is not too negative.doors, gathering them for resale to the next target.As I climb into my cab, I realize how the groupis getting all its money: by selling flowers that most people throw awayand then gathering them up and selling them again.There aren t manyproducts you can sell and keep at the same time.Some students of influence and persuasion would see these tactics asreciprocity at work.You get a flower.We get a dollar.Quid pro quo.Every-body is happy.1 POCKET THE CURRENCY OF RAPPORT 127That s not how I see it.Some donors, of course, may take their flowersand give them to their partners, passed off as thoughtful and consideratehomecoming presents for the one who stayed behind.Those donors getvalue for their donation.Most people, however, who give the money do so to extricate them-selves with relatively little expense from an awkward situation.From a sit-uation of negative connection or rapport.And maybe that is a quid proquo of a kind.Note: the negative feelings generated from this exchangeare not great enough to keep the group from raising millions of dollars inthis, and other, uncomfortable ways.Once you make a connection, once you establish rapport, there are a num-ber of ways you can make that connection positive and continuous waysto make it work for you.Modeling.MirroringMalcolm Gladwell observes in his book The Tipping Point that if you arehappy you will smile and if you re sad you will frown.But, he says, if youare made to smile you will tend to become happy, and if you are made tofrown you will tend to become sad.Emotion, in other words, goes insideout, but it also goes outside in.3I had a friend, a great guy, a talented guy, who was not well educatedand who spoke in the idiom of the streets where I grew up.He used theword ideal for idea. He used the word theys for there are (as in, Theys a lot of crooked politicians. ) He wasn t handsome.He was 5'8",weighed 245 pounds, and had lost his left hand clowning around on a Fer-ris wheel.By his midthirties he also had lost most of his hair.But he wasa great success with most women.I asked one of them why. Riley always makes me laugh, and when he does it makes me happy, she said, smiling at the memory of him.She was predisposed to laugh athis stories.If she didn t feel good, Riley made her laugh and she felt better.Outside in. 128 GET IT! STREET-SMART NEGOTIATION AT WORKMODELINGTry it.Smile at everyone you meet.It doesn t matter whether you knowthem, or whether you are in cool and aloof New York City or in friendlyEnid, Oklahoma.You ll find that many folks will give you back a big smile,maybe a surprised smile, but a smile.Said another way: You can model the feelings you wish to elicit inthose around you.It s a variation of monkey see, monkey do. STREET-SMART REALITYMONKEY SEE, MONKEY DOI suspect that a lot of what we communicate to one another is not aboutthe words we use.Maybe 20 percent is communicated via words and 80percent via other factors: tone, timing, energy, emotion, body language,gestures.My favorite speaker has a powerful effect on her audience.She is ener-getic.Her timing is flawless, her modulation dynamic.Her emotions ebband flow.Her speeches are not paragons of logic.They frequently don thang together.If you tried to repeat what she said in the order she said it,you d have a hard time.But her audiences don t care.When you ask themafterward about her speech they say, She really energized us! They aren tsure what she said, but they want part of it.She was inspiring, energetic.Her message is her energy.This modeling for results can be subtle but can have a big influence.Brian Mullen of Syracuse University and a number of his colleaguesin 1984 conducted a study that, for an academic work, has been widelyreported and has created some controversy.It is worth looking at for itsimplications about influence exercised merely through facial expressionno words required.4Mullen produced nearly forty 2.5-second videotape snapshots of TomBrokaw (NBC), Dan Rather (CBS), and Peter Jennings (ABC) reporting onthe presidential race between Ronald Reagan and Walter Mondale.Thesnapshots were without sound, and they were shown to groups of studyparticipants who were, on the basis of what they saw, asked to rate theemotions of the broadcasters from negative to positive on a twenty-one- POCKET THE CURRENCY OF RAPPORT 129point scale.The continuum was from extremely negative to extremelypositive.Brokaw and Rather scored about the same when talking about Reaganand Mondale.But Jennings scored 13.38 when he talked about Mondaleand 17.44 when he talked about Reagan a 30 percent variance! Theresearchers concluded that Jennings showed a bias in facial expression infavor of Reagan.Did this bias influence voters in the election? Professor Mullen and hisassociates called voters in a number of cities around the country and askedthem how they had voted.In every instance, ABC viewers voted for Rea-gan in much greater numbers than those who watched CBS or NBC.Now, it is possible, of course, that those who watched ABC were morepredisposed to vote for Reagan anyway.But four years later Mullenrepeated the study when Governor Michael Dukakis and Vice PresidentGeorge Bush ran against each other for president, and, again, Jenningsrated more positive in his facial expressions when speaking about Bushthan about Dukakis.Again, ABC viewers voted in higher numbers for thevice president.What are the implications of this information for you in the work-place?First, and this goes beyond the mere metaphor of letting a smile beyour umbrella on a rainy, rainy day, nonverbal communications are morepowerful than you may believe.What you send outLESSON FROM THE STREET #52in your facial expressions, your body language, yourgestures, and your tone will affect those around youFollow the Get It! Golden Rule:and come back to you in roughly the same form
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