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.Before her very eyes the dead past had comeback, colorful and noisy. Stoppush tried to persuade her to accom-pany him into one of the marquees, so that he might show her whatwas going on inside; but she declined, for she was rather afraid of him.He then began to address her in German, as if he thought that bydoing so he could more easily gain her confidence.At first she thoughtit was Yiddish. Haben Sie nur kein Angst, Krausköpfchen! he kept saying to her ina slow, deliberate way.She started up from her reverie.The host of memories fled suddenlylike ghosts at dawn, leaving her breathless with surprise, but the sweetTHE DANCE OF THE DEMONS 251 ecstatic sensation lingered on, and her lips were twitching, smiling withdelight.What now? Now that the pangs of hunger were gone, what ailedher? Yesterday, she had been so hungry.No, thank God, she was nothungry any more, not in the least.Only her head was aching morethan ever.She rose to her feet. Goodness, what s happened? I can barely stand on my legs.Why,I m staggering.Hold on, hold onto the ledge.Good God, am I tobecome paralyzed? No, it must not be.I ll go downstairs into the shopand ask Georgette.If the old woman s there, I ll even ask her.MaybeGeorgette is on her own today, and she ll let me have a loaf on the sly.But no, she won t, she won t do anything of the sort.She ll just say Sorry! as usual. I m ever so sorry, but you know what the old woman slike, don t you? You remember the trouble I got into last time. PoorGeorgette, the trouble she got into last time.And there won t beanother last time. The sun was still shining.Was it morning or afternoon? She glancedacross at the barracks clock.Dinner hour.The soldiers were filling uptheir mess tins at the steaming field kitchen.They seemed to havenothing to do all day except eat, and then eat again.Not that she couldhave touched any of their food.By now even her bodily weariness wasgone.Her limbs had ceased aching.She would try and walk, to seehow she got on.Yes, it was quite easy: the stiffness had gone out of herlegs and she felt as light as a feather.As light as a feather and all emptyinside.No trace of a headache now.What did annoy her was the buoy-ancy of her head, it would not keep straight, but swayed from side toside like a leaf in the breeze.That was a very strange thing.Ah, here was her bed and she would lie down on it.Now that wasbetter, much better.She had not been resting for more than ten minutes when Georgetteshouted up to her from the bottom of the staircase: Have you heard the latest? Germany has invaded us.It s war! Deborah heard her perfectly well, but she did not have the strengthto shout back.What did she care, anyway? Still, supposing she had themoney for a ticket, she would go back to her parents at once.Beforelong, communications would be disrupted.The sergeant-major whowalked out with Georgette every evening after shop hours had notshown up for quite a few days.What had happened to him?252 ESTHER SINGER KREITMAN What is the matter with me? Am I really going mad? Why am Iobsessed with the impossible idea of getting back to Warsaw? This star-vation is killing me. She lay perfectly still.Everything grew calm within her.There wasnot a thought in her head.She was devoid of all feeling.And then itwas that a strange sense of bliss, beatific bliss, crept over her and tookcomplete possession of her.Suddenly she jumped out of bed.She feverishly assembled her wholewedding trousseau, with the long golden chain that had been putround her neck at her betrothal, as well as her husband s gold watch,throwing everything into one great heap.Her fingers were wonderfullydeft and it was not long before she had done up all her spare chemisesand underwear into another bundle.This she stuffed into the brightleather suitcase that her husband had held in his hand when she firstset eyes on him in Berlin.The letter to her husband was finished.Shehid it away under the pillow.Was there anything else needed doingbefore she left? No, nothing.She locked the door, leaving the key ontop of the gas meter out on the landing.As she passed on her waythrough the shop, the landlady ignored her, but Jacond leapt up, strain-ing at the leash, and he began to bark with such terrible fury that itseemed his tongue would drop out of his mouth.It was a long, lollingtongue, almost reaching the floor.No one could soothe the wretcheddog.She kept drawing her cheeks in and out between her teeth.Out-of-doors a thousand suns were blazing over the city.She took the suitcase and all that was in it straight to the municipalpawnbrokers.She was all a-tremble, her legs were sagging beneath her,her heart was beating violently as if, like Jacond, it was straining at theleash
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