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.Disgusting!”“No,” I said right back at her, “your van’s disgusting.I can’t believe the health department hasn’t condemned it yet.”“I can’t believe you two!” she said and turned on her heel.Dan was laughing and shaking his head.“You should have heard your sister squeal when that stupid dog came running by us with your bra her mouth.The kids started playing tug of war with it.”Rick had been completely silent up until now.“Can you give us a few minutes, Dan?” he asked.“Oh, sure,” Dan said.“Just don’t—you know—in the van.I don’t want Ashley up my ass about it for the rest of the week.” Dan walked away still guffawing.Rick turned to me.“Don’t suppose I can talk you into coming back to my place?” he asked hopefully.I made a face and shook my head.“Nope.This will do it for me.I need to go home.” I was so confused and frustrated.Part of me wanted to follow him home and spend the night wrapped in his arms.You know the parts.And the reasonable part of me thanked God that Ashley interrupted us.What was I thinking? Jumping in a van with an old boyfriend.It made no sense.“I understand,” he said reaching out to stroke my cheek.“That was almost the most amazing sex I’ve ever had.”I leaned into his hand and kissed his palm.“Me too.”“I want to see you again, Diana,” he said.“I don’t know what I want anymore, Rick,” I replied softly.*****I had a good cry on the way home.As I was going over the bridge, I decided that this little interlude with Rick was nothing more than nostalgia.He was no more a suitable partner for me now than he had been twelve years ago.Sure he was sexier and more charming than egotistical, bossy high school Rick.But he was still fundamentally the same person.And Rick Ellis was not the man for me.I knew that at eighteen.And I knew it now.After getting an excited sniff over from Max (he seemed to appreciate dog drool much more than I did), I took him for a quick walk and filled up his bowl.I took a long shower to wash all the grime of the day away and sat in the shower and cried a little more for what might have been.Rick’s words were running through my mind on an endless loop.“This was supposed to be us,” he had said.Maybe he was right.Maybe we should have had the minivan and the kids on the two-acre lot with the above ground swimming pool.But maybe, just maybe, this was exactly where I was supposed to be.I gathered up my guitar and pulled a pick from inside my pajama pocket.I sat down on the couch and strummed a few notes, thinking back again to what Rick had said.The fire from that moment still burned in my brain; the nostalgia for lost youth.I picked out a melancholy chord and strummed softly, waiting for the next note to find its way from my brain to my fingers.And there it was.And again.A song took shape.I slowed it down, sped it up, and finally settled somewhere in the middle.I set the guitar down and picked up the yellow pad on the coffee table.The words were easy.I was living them.*****I didn’t sleep well and woke up bleary-eyed and cranky.Coffee helped, but I was still a little groggy as I made my way towards Greene’s Staffing.Mark had asked me to come in at eight to help him before the day started to get crazy.Argh! Mark.I wasn’t ready to deal with that situation.The Mark Attraction had simply faded into the background with all that had happened with Rick last night.I opened the door to Greene’s expecting some peace and quiet before the phone started ringing.Unfortunately, crazy had already ramped up into full gear at the office.I made my way around a dozen or so light industrial temporaries milling around in the small lobby.Mark was on the phone looking pretty agitated for eight in the morning.“No, Mr.Hagen,” he said into the receiver.“I wasn’t aware we had a special arrangement with your company that included a thirty percent cash discount.Since when?” he asked.“I see.Did you discuss this with Carol? Well, I am sorry about the confusion.I will send your team back over right away.There won’t be any more cash discounts, though.This is part of an ongoing investigation.Yes, thanks.You too.” He disconnected and stood up
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