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.When promotion boards sit, they can, at their discretion, consider"nonstandard minimum time in grade" officers.The promotion board had lookedover the list of all majors in "standard minimum time in grade" and found somethat deserved the next rank.Then, since they'd done their jobs efficiently,they had some extra time and considered "nonstandard minimum time in gradeofficers" for light bird.And ran across Bandit Six in the bunch.And, well.Page 223 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html.People who are on the board are not supposed to talk about the board.What happens on the board, stays on the board.But a guy told me about whenthey ran across the "Centurion" packet as they put it.And passed it around.And talked about shit they're not supposed to talk about like "I fucking dieevery time I watch 'CAM(P)ing'!" And moved it to the top of the stack andrecommended the packet be "selected under waiver of time in grade." Still kindof pisses me off.There was some guy my grandstanding fucked for thatgo-round.To whoever it is, I apologize.)So I was now a major promotable.Big whoop.I was still in the Pentagon andstill shoveling horse-shit.Nice bump in pay, though, when the promotionfinally came through.So one day I get word I need to report to a different department for"consultation on Emergency Methodology." I've got an office.And the name of amajor.I go to said office and meet a nice major.The major is wearing the tabs foraide to a full general.The nice major asks me questions.I answer thempolitely.Some of them are on the borderline of "wrong." They were a touch.political.The Army has to play politics all the time.That is, they have to find theCongresscritters who will support funding and all that.But within the Army,it's a written rule that you don't discuss or argue politics.You don't asksomeone what their politics are.Yes, it gets done all the time, but not in anofficial setting.It was the equivalent of asking me "Are you now or have youever been a homosexual?" It's Just Not Done.At the end of the "interview" I was told "thank you very much, we may betalking again."And I got orders.To my old unit.As Battalion Commander.Wait.WRONG!First of all, I can't think of a time when a guy who has been a commander in aunit has been brought back as a BC.There are too many battalions in the Army.Just luck of the draw says you're not going to get your old unit.At the levelof major, you've scooted off somewhere else.If you spend the normal time as amajor, you've done staff time at various levels and some in a battalion to getthe feel.You probably have been an XO.But not of your old unit.Doesn't workthat way.Second, it was like taking over the Company.Normally, the "careerprogression" was that I'd get promoted to light bird and take a staff positionfor my rank.If I was a very good boy I might get a battalion.But not untilI've gotten some experience under colonel's silver.And I still wasn't on the books as a light bird.Majors hadn't commandedbattalions since WWII.Oh, wow, look.I'm a light bird.Fancy that.Promotion came in the day after my orders.My skids were being greased.And greased hard."Selected" way out of zone.Command time when I should have still been shuffling papers.And now promotionout of zone.Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.Note, this sounds crazy.But there are two things about promotion in the Army.If you get promoted at one rank too fast, you're bound to get fucked overlater.I, eventually, wanted to be a general.Despite the number of generalsaround, getting to general is very hard.Having my skids greased now wouldprobably fuck that up then.(Absent, like, a World War.) The other is, ifsomeone is hand-selecting you, and that is pretty much verboten in the Army,it's rarely for something you're going to enjoy.It means somebody wants youto do something fucked up.I didn't know at the time how fucked up.I drove down to Stewart, which I hadn't seen in a while but it hadn't changedmuch either, and found quarters.I reported in to the Division.I got theusual smoke blown up my ass but not as much as usual.I was an old Divisionhand.The Army's "Third Herd." (The actual motto is "Nous Resterons Là" "WePage 224 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlShall Remain." Don't ask.) I got the standard incoming battalion commander"in-brief."With FEMA actually starting to be left to do its job, the Army was coming moreand more off of "disaster relief" duties and getting trained back in on "killpeople and break things." The Brigades (which were the actual deploymentunits) weren't by any stretch back to their glory days of being able to breakyour hearts and your armies any where, any time, but they were getting back inshape.My battalion was the next one slotted up for "combat retraining." I got somefrowns but they weren't explained even when I asked.But I did notice that myBrigade wasn't up for combat retrain, yet.We were getting bumped up the cue.Combat retrain means starting from the ground up.Soldiers train on individualtasks while officers try to remember how to conduct operations.The latter ismostly "TEWTs," Tactical Exercises Without Troops, and can range from sittingat a table working over a problem to sand table exercises to going out in thefield and considering how to take terrain to full up computerized battle withindependent scorers.Later on the officers and troops are "mated up" for field exercises and thenfinally go through a test to see if it's taken.Generally, after the test(called an ARTEP) there's a stand-down for maintenance to fix all the shitthat broke in training then the unit, if it passes the test and the inspectionof its equipment, is considered "combat certified." It's ready to go to war.Normally, "combat retraining" is a six-month process.We were scheduled for three.I looked at the, very tight, schedule, kissed sleep goodbye then looked again.We were scheduled, if everything went well, to be "combat certified" one monthbefore the end of Carson's requested "six months
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