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. Another heterosexual male agreed andoffered his own analysis. That is how you get your little in and outgroups.The guy like the one from the video is a cool guy and the otherguy that has penny loafers and corduroys is not and no one wants tohang with him.As mentioned earlier, one criticism that has been aimed at blackyouth by both their peers and older adults is that they do not thinkabout the consequences of their sexual encounters and guard againstpregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, representing yet anotherexample of their disregard for dominant norms concerning family andsex.The criticism is most often posed in the form of the question: Whydon t young people who are sexually active use protection to avoidunplanned pregnancies? As I discussed previously, black youth reportusing protection more often than white or Latino youth.Moreover,when respondents in all three groups were asked under what condi-tions they would have unprotected sex, an overwhelming number ofrespondents, especially heterosexual male respondents, indicated thatthey would engage in such behavior only when in a relationship.Spe-cifically, most of the participants in the heterosexual male group sug-gested that a relationship of anywhere from six months to two to threeyears was necessary to know someone and know that one s femalepartner doesn t have anything. One heterosexual male explained: I would say six months.It doesn t have to be an exact year or some-thing like that, but you have to fully know a person to where you couldsay if I get her pregnant, she is not going to bring a disease or if we dohave a kid, I have to deal with her being the child s mother.Most participants in the heterosexual female group agreed that itwas generally when they were in a relationship that they engaged inmore unprotected sex.One explained, Like my boyfriend, we ve beentogether for four years.I feel I should protect myself more with himbut I trust him.Yeah, we go to the same doctor, whatever.So I be Baby Mama 85feeling comfortable having sex without a condom. Another hetero-sexual female responded, I ve only had one partner and we ve beentogether four and a half years.Me and him, we go and get tested everythree months.I trust him, but he s a man. All the members of the het-erosexual female group had been tested, and even those in relationshipssaid they continued to be tested for HIV and STDs.These respondentsnoted that while they trusted their partners, they realized that it waspossible they could be cheating on them.It was a risk they were willingto take to communicate their own sense of trust in the relationship.Members of the gay, lesbian, and bisexual focus group also made adistinction between sex with those with whom they are or have been ina long-term relationship and those with whom they are not.One gaymale participant stated:The guy I am with, I have been with since I was 13 and we weretogether until I was 19.We were together for some years and now he isgone away to school.When he comes home, I might have sex with himwithout a condom, but we keep up with each other so it is like showme. With him, it is like I can trust him.But if I was to sleep aroundwith someone else, I would use it [a condom].While some members of the gay, lesbian, and bisexual group agreedthat long-term relationships built on trust might merit unprotectedsex, others thought it was never all right to have sex without protec-tion.As one bisexual male respondent said, I don t think there isanyone that I would have unprotected sex with.I am not ready fornothing.I don t like dirty [people]. Given the devastating impact ofAIDS on black gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender communities, itis not surprising that more participants in this group asserted that it isnever a good idea to have unprotected sex.Overall, respondents in allthree groups were not recklessly engaging in unprotected sex.Theyall were able to articulate the issues they considered when decidingwhether to have unprotected sex and the conditions under which theywould do so.And while these young people s definitions of trust andlong-term relationships might differ from those of people in their for-ties, they did have an evaluation process that came into play when theyconsidered engaging in unprotected sex.Focus group participants were also asked if they believed there wasa lot of pressure to have unprotected sex.Most heterosexual male par-ticipants indicated that there was no pressure to have unprotected sex.As one young heterosexual man quipped, Who is going to tell younot to put a condom on? Another stated, I think people would think86 Democracy Remixeddifferently [of me] if I didn t use a condom. In contrast, over half ofthose in the heterosexual female group indicated that they believedthere was a great deal of pressure to have unprotected sex.And whilemany of the respondents in the heterosexual female group believed thatmost of the impetus in heterosexual relationships for unprotected sexcame from men, a few also suggested that increasingly more womendesired unprotected sex.One participant stated:The first thing that comes out of their [men s] mouth is that it feelsbetter without the condom.You don t feel nothing. Now to be hon-est, now that we have these female condoms, I m not going to just putit on the men anymore.The females say exactly the same thing. Youdon t get the feeling, you feel better without it. Actually, when I thinkabout it, it s mostly the females that don t want the condom
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