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.Mr.Burns lifted a cautioning finger. Ah, perhaps, but we havemuch to read, much to discover.Reverend Dimmesdale might surpriseyou before we get to the final page. I nodded, but wasn t sure why.I didn t want to talk about itanymore.When I looked toward Lora, she was doodling Jock s name onher notebook.* * *After class, Lora and I walked together down the hall. You re awfully quiet lately, Lora said, waving at another studentas we passed.I shrugged, shifting my load of books from my right arm to my left. Just a little worried about this assignment, I guess. Don t lie to me, Claire.You ve got that Hawthorne and moralitycrap down cold. 66I shook my head.I wanted to tell her we should talk, needed to tellher how that afternoon in her room had affected me, had to tell her itwas making me crazy.But the words wouldn t come, and I just lookedaway.Lora stopped and I did, too.We blocked the hallway, but sheignored the swarm of kids pressing around us. Claire, look at me, shesaid quietly.I faced her.Tears puddled in my eyes.I tried to fight them, but Iwas frustrated beyond belief and more than a little fed up with hernonchalance. What? I mouthed the word, unable to speak around thelump in my throat.Lora s expression changed.A mix of revelation and confusionflooded her eyes.At last, she was getting the picture.I wasn t just herstudy buddy or even her best friend.But I wasn t a potential boyfriendor prom date, either.I was something different altogether, a thing neitherof us knew how to deal with.She swallowed hard. Come on, we ll stop at the soda machine. She bumped me with her shoulder to urge me forward, then walked onahead.I was past the point of containing my anguish.I went in theopposite direction and ducked into the girls restroom.Unable to hold itin any longer, I found a vacant stall, sat down, and cried.All myquestions and fears tumbled around one another and beat against myinsides like fists.They gnawed on my brain, driving me crazy.What sinhad I committed to deserve this? What deed was so horrible that I d beforced to endure this pain? I was seventeen, for Pete s sake, how badcould I have been?I couldn t take it anymore.I wanted it over and began to pray.Ibegged God to end my torture, promising Him anything, vowing tonever do anything wrong again if He d commute my sentence and giveme peace.But now my feelings weren t just between God and me.Lora hadread my mind in the hallway.She d seen past my façade and looked intothe real me, a person I hardly knew myself.Just like in The ScarletLetter, my sin had been revealed and I felt a blazing mark upon mybreast.When the restroom s door opened and flooded the room withechoing voices from the hall, I shifted gears in my prayer.Please don tlet it be Lora.She couldn t see me like this, delirious and snot-nosedI d die.A gentle rap came on the stall door. Claire? It s me.Open up. 67I wiped my eyes.Feeling like a freak, dreading the look on Lora sface, I lifted the latch and opened the door.Instead of standing aside so Icould come out, Lora pressed into the stall with me, wrapped her armsaround my shoulders, and closed the door with her foot. Please don t beupset, she said softly into my ear.I settled into her arms and grabbed fistfuls of the back of hersweater. I don t know what s wrong with me.Everything s soconfusing. She squeezed me tight for a second and touched her lips to my earbefore stepping back.She looked down into my eyes, sighed, andglanced away. I guess we need to talk.And we will, I promise.But wecan t do it here, and not over the phone either.For now, just blow yournose and go on to class.Act like you ve got a cold or something. Shewiped a tear from my cheek before stepping out of the stall.I watched her leave, more confused than before.Her words hadsounded as though she wanted to forget the incident in her bedroom.Butshe d held me so tight, touched me with such compassion
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