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. How can I explain it.It gets very complicated.ButPage 79 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlI guess the bottom line is he keeps me from being deported, and that keeps meout of jail. I don t understand, she said. How does he do that? He sighed. Here s where the complexity comes in.In Guatemala, and otherplaces like that, the Central Intelligence Agency uses people like me, sort ofoff the record, and when things go wrong they get some of them out, somewheresafe, or maybe even into the United States.Arrange papers for them so theycan get lost in the crowd.All quietly, no papers signed, nobody admittinganything.So if I started telling my story not that it s very interesting tothe newspapers, or if someone else did and some committee called me to testifyabout what happened down there, the CIA would swear they never heard of me,and nobody could prove otherwise. Oh, Chrissy said, sounding thoughtful. But how does Mr.Winsor keep youfrom being deported? By keeping his mouth shut, Budge said.Chrissy produced one of those what do you mean by that looks.Budge considered how to explain. Let s say I was no longer a true andfaithful servant and became more trouble than I was worth.Mr.Winsor is nowkeeping me from [165]being deported very simply.Just not tipping off theImmigration folks, or by refraining from telling one of his lawyer friends inthe State Department that the people now running my former country have awarrant out for me under my former name.If he wanted me deported, he d simplymake a telephone call to the right person. Silence.Then she said: Oh, I m sorry.I shouldn t be so nosey. No offense taken, Budge said. I can t believe you did anything very wrong. Well, I guess you could say I haven t been a great benefactor for society, Budge said, and laughed. Don t laugh at yourself.Anyway, you re fine now.Good job, good prospects.I get the impression that Mr.Winsor will be putting you in charge of things.There d be a lot more money with that. The Beatles taught us about money.Remember? It won t buy you love. Her response to that sounded slightly angry. You like to make fun of money, she said. I have to tell you I don t.I betyou ve never been poor or you wouldn t talk like that.I bet you ve never hadto watch your mother trying to borrow money, or been embarrassed in schoolbecause of the way you dressed.Or your shoes.Or hearing the other girlstelling about what they did during the summer, and all you could do waslisten.Things like that. No, Budge said. Never anything like that. Well, I have, she said. You dream of having money.Like dreaming ofparadise.Having money like those people I see when I m with Rawley. All the anger was out of her voice now.It sounded dreamy.Page 80 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html[166] Listening to them talking about the party in Tokyo.Or being onsomebody s yacht going up the Thames.Being introduced to the Queen.The viewfrom somebody s villa on the cliff in Sicily.The candlesticks.The silver. She stopped, sighed. Oh, well.Maybe someday. Winsor s other young women had never talked like that.One sunny Saturdayafternoon when he picked up Chrissy he d been tempted to tell her about thevery blond, very chic, very shapely girl he had delivered to the Winsoraddress two days earlier.Just make a casual remark about it.See how Chrissywould respond.To learn if she understood how she fit into Winsor s scheme ofthings and knew what was happening to her.But he didn t tell her.He toldhimself he didn t tell her because it would have been cruel to tip her off ifshe didn t know and insulting if she did.But the real reason he was silentwas that he was afraid it would destroy this friendship.And he had come totreasure that.Then the day came, about a month ago, just as he started the limo engine andwas pulling away from the curb, when Chrissy clicked on the intercom and said: Budge.I think I m pregnant. That surprised him.It shouldn t have, perhaps.But it did.And he saidnothing at all for a bit, and then he said, Oh? We re going to get married.Rawley s given me an engagement ring.It sspectacular.I d show it to you, but I can t wear it yet.This is going to besecret until he can get his divorce finalized and the wedding arrangementsmade. And he d said: Well, Chrissy, I wish you a lot of happiness. And he dwondered why he hadn t heard about [167] this impending divorce.From whathe d been hearing, Winsor was still solidly married to a very sociallyprominent woman named Margo Lodge Winsor.He d driven her out to ReaganAirport about two months ago on a flight to their vacation home in theAntilles.He d never been sent out to pick her up, and Winsor had talked atime or two about his plans for joining her there.He had no idea what, if anything, to say to Chrissy about that, and a damperfell on their friendly chats for a couple of their trips.But then came thatterrible day that forced him to make some decisions.Budge was remembering that day now, just as Winsor arrived and stood lookingdown at him. Up and at em, Winsor said. Get moving.You ve got the plane ready, Itrust.Everything all set? For where? he said, not moving. For the old smelter in Sonora, Winsor said. Come on.You re wasting mytime. Budge looked at his boot tips, then up at Winsor. OK, he said. Away wego. The flight from El Paso s Biggs Field to the old smelter is a mere hundredand fifty or so air miles over a stretch of the emptiest segment of Chihuahuato the emptiest part of Sonora.Dry country, relatively flat, and the pilot srole complicated only by the chance of encountering the helicopters andPage 81 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlradio-controlled drone surveillance aircraft the Border Patrol uses to watchthe bottom edge of New Mexico and Arizona.Winsor sat behind him now, silent, reading papers in a folder.Budgeidentified the bumpy shape of Sierra Alto Azul Mountain, his navigating markfor the smelter, adjusted his controls, and looked at the desert belowhim.[168] Grim, dry, hungry, unhappy country, not intended for any life beyondjavlina, cactus wrens, and reptiles.Too harsh and cruel for humans, and thatreturned his thoughts to the last time he d seen Chrissy, the afternoon Winsorhad summoned him into that luxurious office, asked him to sit down a first forthat and offered him a cigar, which was another first. Budge, he d said, I ve been thinking of the things you ve managed for me.Four years now, isn t it, and you ve never let me down. Four years, Budge said. I guess that s about right. I m going to give you a bonus, Winsor said.He was smiling. A pay raise? No.Better than that.Cash. He opened a drawer, extracted a manilaenvelope, dropped it on the desktop. Well, thanks
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