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.I’m a different person now.I’ve grown up, matured.And I not only regret my actions that day, but I’ve learned from them.I’d like to think I’m not nearly the asshole I was when I was seventeen.I’d like to prove that to Misty.I just need to learn how to talk to her again first.Do I still like Misty? Of course.Do I still want her? Hell yes I do.Am I going to try anything with her? I don’t know.Do I want more than friendship? I’m not really sure right now.Kelly and I just broke up.That shit still hurts.But I’m not willing to write anything off.I have two weeks.I’m not going to rush this.I have a lot to make up for.A lot of time missed.And I have no idea how she feels about me.She volunteered to come on this trip knowing it was going to be a lot of time together, so it gives me hope.But she hasn’t exactly been warm to me, either.Reconnecting our friendship could be her only intention.And I’m okay with that.“Seriously,” Sadie groans.“We need to do something.I only have two weeks of vacation, which was hell to get.I don’t want to spend it sitting around doing nothing.Let’s play a game.”“Drinking game?” Roh asks just as the fire finally roars to life.He flicks the ring in his lip with the tip of his tongue.Misty yawns into her hand, earning a glare from Sadie.“That sounds like too much work.I’m kind of tired.” She stretches her arms over her head and arches her back.I rake my eyes down her frame, from the tips of her fingers, over her toned arms, lingering on her chest—shirt tight against her breasts in this position—along her sexy legs, and all the way down to her toes, bare in her flip-flops.“Misty doesn’t drink,” I say.That earns me strange looks from both of the girls.“Um, where have you been?” Sadie asks.“Oh, never mind.You wouldn’t know.See, Misty grew out of her no drinking rule three years ago, about twenty minutes into Hope and Mason’s reception.She found it soothed her aching heart.”I flick my eyes to Misty, but she’s averting her gaze, suddenly enthralled by the fire.“What about Truth or Dare?” Roh offers.“You love that game, don’t you Jimmy?”“Who’s Jimmy?” Sadie asks, her eyes sliding back and forth from Roh to me.“It’s a nickname he gave me,” I say.A stupid nickname at that.I fucking hate it and he knows it, which is exactly why he likes to call me by it.I also hate Truth or Dare, thus the reason he suggested it as well.“Why Jimmy?” Misty asks.Her eyes meet mine over the flames.She’s the last person in the world I want to explain this to.I’d much rather beat Roh’s ass right now.He may be bigger than me, but I know his weak spots.“It’s short for Jimmy Neutron,” Roh explains.“Because Kellin’s a boy genius.”I take off my hat, placing it on my knee, and run my fingers through my hair.There are about twenty other things I can think of that I’d rather be doing at the moment.One of which involves my childhood fantasy of becoming invisible.“I don’t get it,” Sadie says.“You’ve never seemed very smart to me.” She flashes a smirk my way before turning back to Roh.“Explain.”“Let’s play the game,” I suggest, finishing off my beer and immediately reaching for another.“Okay,” Sadie agrees.“Roh, truth or dare?”“Truth,” he answers immediately, grinning like this is the funniest shit ever.Asshole.“Why do you call Kellin Jimmy?”Misty presses her lips together, trying to stifle a laugh.Even though I’m not in the mood to get into this shit tonight—or any other night for that matter—I can’t help but enjoy seeing her smile.“It’s meant to be ironic,” I say, answering for Roh.“Because some of the girls I dated—”“By which he means most of the girls,” Roh cuts in.He gestures at me, letting me know I can continue.“Haven’t exactly been the best decisions on my part.”Roh holds out his hand, counting off on his fingers.“Most of his exes are either bitchy, psychotic, or cheaters.Or variables of the three.” He peers over at me, giving me a knowing look.“All except Misty,” he adds unapologetically.“Is she technically an ex?” Sadie asks.Her lips plump up as she shifts her attention back and forth between Misty and I.“You guys never actually had a chance to get together, right?”I glance at Misty to find her gaze set on me.I give a little shrug and tip my bottle back, taking a deep drink.“Truth or dare?” Sadie says, her eyes pinning me in place.“I think it’s Roh’s turn,” I rasp.“No, man.I’m straight.Go ahead.” I flip him off and he chuckles, unaffected.“What do you want me to pick?” I ask Sadie.She obviously has something she wants to ask me or needs to get off her chest.I knew this would come eventually.I might as well get it over with.Fast and only a little painfully.“It doesn’t matter.”“Dare?” I say, but it comes out as a question.She arches a brow, leaning her elbows on her knees.A small smile twists her lips.“I dare you to tell us what happened at Hope and Mason’s wedding.Why didn’t you tell Misty you had a girlfriend? Why did you dick her over like that?”Fuck.This sucks more than I was anticipating.13MistyI am so mad at Sadie right now.I am also kind of proud of her.This is what I came here for.I imagined it going a little differently, like not in front of other people, and not during a game of Truth or Dare.But it is what it is.Roh referring to me as Kellin’s ex just raised a lot of old questions for me.And Sadie as well, apparently.Kellin and I never got to the dating part, but I honestly believed it was heading in that direction.I need answers so I can finally put all of this behind me, and hopefully Kellin and I can be friends and enjoy the rest of this trip.Kellin’s eyes meet mine.He slaps his hat onto his head and stands up.“Can we take a walk?” he asks, burying his hands in his pockets.The way the light of the fire glows against his skin is breathtaking.The warm orange illumination highlights half his features, leaving the other half in shadow, mimicking the way I’ve felt about him for years.As if he’s two different personalities.A Jekyll and Hyde—the Kellin I thought I knew and the Kellin that really is.The flames kick up, lapping at the air as if they’re trying to get closer.As if they want to knock the darkness away.I push myself up, leaving the warmth of the fire as I follow him past the tents and into the cool dimness of night.We walk side by side in silence for several minutes.I can hear the sound of traveling water—like gushing wind though there’s very little breeze—and know instinctively we’re near a creek.“Amanda wasn’t my girlfriend,” Kellin finally says.His voice is thick, husky.Nearly a whisper.“Not when you and I started talking again.”This conversation is already making me feel worse.“So you started dating her after we were talking?”It’s too dark to see his expression, but I don’t miss the way he flinches at my words.“Yes,” he admits.“But only because I misunderstood the RSVP’s.”“What?” I pause, refusing to walk any further.He tips his head back, staring up at the sky.I look up too and my breath catches in my throat.There are more stars than I’ve ever witnessed in my life.And they’re beautiful, but I can’t enjoy them the way I should.“I was jealous and reacted without thinking,” he says.He was jealous? I pull my eyes away from the sky and turn my attention to him, but he doesn’t look my way.He keeps staring at the stars.“It was the week before the wedding,” he continues.“I went over to help Hope and Mason go through the RSVP’s for the final reception count
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